Wednesday 31 December 2008

Let's Give It Up For The New Year

Resolution - Motion City Soundtrack

2008 is quickly drawing to a close and like so many around the world, I like to take a minute . . . first to look back at the past year and then to look forward at what's coming up. I've never been one to make resolutions, joining those who write them off as things you always say you'll do, but never actually accomplish. And I hate not keeping my word.

However, this year is a little different. I feel a need, not so much to make resolutions, but more to set some guidelines for myself in the upcoming year. And so . . . here goes.

1. Don't Settle - Get A New Job
I was having a rather rough Monday this week when my broworker emailed me two words - "Don't Settle" - followed by the text to Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address. He had no idea what was going through my head on that cloudy morning, but the timing of his email was just spot on. He's known that I've been struggling with my identity at work for a couple of months and a few weeks ago said to me, "Did you go to college to do this?" This question has been on my mind for awhile, but that was the first time it had been articulated to me in this particular manner. The answer is clear as day. Hell no. Need to get back into media. Time to get off the hamster wheel. Move on. Things have gotten stale . . . and I long to "stay hungry, stay foolish."

2. Explore Every Avenue Possible To Get Myself Home
I tried. Hong Kong is not home. Especially over the past week . . . I miss it. Yes, I have family in Hong Kong . . . but the longer I'm away the more I realise that my fantastic group of friends back home comprise a large part of what I consider my "family." Living is not living when you are constantly longing to be somewhere else.

3. Stop Getting Worked Up Over Other Peoples' Shit
I have to get better at evaluating what/who is worth sticking my neck out for. What grinds my gears is when I put myself out there for people and it is either not appreciated or I was misled to begin with about what the endgame was. Then it gets me all upset and stressed . . . and it's just not worth it.

4. Speak Up For Myself More
'Nuff said, really. And kind of similar to #3. This includes not letting myself be put into a position of enabler. If you do shady shit, I will call you on it.

5. Be Bold.
The paradox that is my persona . . . outspoken and outgoing as heck amongst friends . . . but wallflower shy when it comes to my pursuit of romance. In the presence of potential, I need to find a balance between fading into the background and coming off as overeager.

Okay. That's all. Thoughts? What are your resolutions?

Tuesday 9 December 2008

With You Is Where I'd Rather Be, But We're Stuck Where We Are

Long Distance - Brandy


In any recent year, this song would have been a poignant portrait of my thoughts and emotions. Admittedly, the first time I heard this track, memories came storming back . . . but not in the heart-wrenching way I thought they would. No . . . this time it was swift . . .
Yup. Okay. I remember feeling that way.
Oh well. Moving on now . . .
Maybe this comes at an interesting time. You see . . . he and I have made amends. And only with the past couple weeks and conversations with him, has it been apparent to me that I've grown out of what we had been. So now, whenever I do feel that little bit of sadness tugging at my heart, I know that it's simply because I miss being in a relationship . . . and that longing will cease to be associated with him.

I haven't felt much like writing lately . . . but in fact it has been quite the month kicked off with an adventure at Hong Kong Disneyland with my girls, highlighted by a birthday visit by one of my best friends, and recently wrapped up with visits from more friendly faces from Vancouver. I always get excited around the end of November . . . because once my birthday's done with, in comes all the Christmas tingles that demand to be felt.

This will be the best Christmas in nearly half a decade. I'm okay. I'm content.