Grammar Rant - 'I' vs 'Me'

Those who know me well will tell you, "G is a serious grammar cop." With the rise of social media and useful tools such as spell check and autocorrect, proper use of grammar seems to be flying out the door. However, one grammar issue seems to have existed since I can remember ...

At one point or another in elementary school the and I rule is drilled into students' minds. Perhaps curriculum is reacting to some previous incorrect overuse of and me in certain situations. Well, now the reverse seems to have seriously taken hold. Late gen Xers and millenials alike are using and I in any and all situations. It's as though there aren't any other options. Oooh, but there is. And grown people getting this wrong really grinds my gears.

How do you know what to use? In which situations is I the correct choice, and in which other situations should me be chosen? It really isn't difficult to figure out. I honestly believe no one over the age of 15 should be getting this wrong.

Let's start with the one everyone actually seems to get right.

We are cooking dinner.

What replaces we in that sentence? In determining the I vs me problem, a method I always tell people is to eliminate the other person. What makes sense? Take the other noun/pronoun out of the equation. What's left?

Me am cooking dinner. (This clearly makes no sense.)

I am cooking dinner.

Ding ding ding ding ding! Now just add the other person back in, tack on the plural pronoun conjugation of the verb, and that's it!

So in this case:

We are cooking dinner. --> John and I are cooking dinner.

A good rule of thumb:

We always expands to be noun/pronoun + I.

Now let's tackle the one which actually seems to baffle the minds of otherwise intelligent people.

The incorrect tendency of so many nowadays is the following:

The drink spilled all over us. --> The drink spilled all over John and I.

No joke . . . hearing this actually makes me want to pull my hair out. This is wrong. Sooooo wrong! Employing the same method used above, let's eliminate the other person.

The drink spilled all over I. (Again, this does not make any sense.)

The drink spilled all over me.

As such ...

The drink spilled all over us. --> The drink spilled all over John and me.

Rule of thumb in this case:

Us always expands to be noun/pronoun + me.

Yes, and me does exist. And yes, you should use it.

If all else fails, think of the nursery rhyme that goes like this:

Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man;

Bake me a cake as fast as you can;

Roll it, pat it, mark it with a B;

Put it in the oven for baby and me.

If you think the final phrase is grammatically incorrect, you have poor grammar.

For a more technical explanation, go here.

"Lighten up, G. It's the internet. Who cares?" A couple other interesting reads:

I Won't Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar. Here's Why. [Harvard Business Review]

I Don't Tolerate Poor Grammar [Forbes]

Why I'm Boycotting Threadless

Hello blogosphere, it's been awhile! Unfortunately, the reason I'm taken to the blog this time is not the most positive. But read on and you shall understand . .

I love graphic tees. The wit and creativity that can often be found on graphic tees make my life a little sunnier. I love supporting independent artists. So how could I not love Threadless - purveyor of all tees graphically delicious. And I did love them. Until now.

Earlier this week, Threadless had a major sale on their merchandise - $9.99 for selected shirts - and I wanted to take advantage of this. My cart quickly filled up with these shirts, amounting to almost $100 worth. And when I came across one particular shirt that was not on sale, I decided to go for that too. This shirt would be a special order "Lab" item that would need 2-3 weeks before shipping could occur. I was really excited about the things I'd selected, as a couple of shirts I'd been lusting over for months would soon be mine!

Now, while I'm not what you'd call an environmental crusader, I do take it upon myself to try to be green. So imagine my surprise upon checking out. Options for shipping speeds and prices, but where was the little checkbox to combine shipments? Nowhere to be found.

I turned to Twitter to find the answer. [exact transcription of my conversation with them]

me: I want to get 1 special order tee w/my order. Is there a way to make it so everything ships at once?

It took them so long to respond that I cancelled my $100+ order.

12 hours later . . .

them: Nope, sorry! :( Those will ship separately.

me: I wonder if it might be something you'd consider. More economical AND environmental.

Another 10 hours later . . .

them: Consider it considered! Sorry again it's not an option now.

Wait . . . what??? Is that really how you've trained your social media team to communicate with customers? "Consider it considered"??? By whom? The social media team? I know Threadless is one of those young hip companies, but I did not expect them to just dismiss my concerns like that. I'm down with colloquial and casual internet language. But to be so downright flippant about it is uncalled for and rude. They would have been better off just not responding at all. Or y'know, a simple respectful response would have sufficed.

Unfortunately our current shipping policy does not allow that. We're sorry for any inconvenience.

Is that so difficult? I came up with that in about 5 seconds.

Forget the extra shipping cost - it's a few bucks. But I'd expect any company to try to minimize their carbon footprint and shipping materials needed. Needless to say, I am extremely disappointed by Threadless and will not be purchasing anything from them for now.

Update: To their credit, a response from Threadless was left in the comments of this blog within an hour if its posting. While I appreciate this effort to reach out to me, I'm still going to think twice about ordering from them again.