Let's Give It Up For The New Year

Resolution - Motion City Soundtrack

2008 is quickly drawing to a close and like so many around the world, I like to take a minute . . . first to look back at the past year and then to look forward at what's coming up. I've never been one to make resolutions, joining those who write them off as things you always say you'll do, but never actually accomplish. And I hate not keeping my word.

However, this year is a little different. I feel a need, not so much to make resolutions, but more to set some guidelines for myself in the upcoming year. And so . . . here goes.

1. Don't Settle - Get A New Job
I was having a rather rough Monday this week when my broworker emailed me two words - "Don't Settle" - followed by the text to Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address. He had no idea what was going through my head on that cloudy morning, but the timing of his email was just spot on. He's known that I've been struggling with my identity at work for a couple of months and a few weeks ago said to me, "Did you go to college to do this?" This question has been on my mind for awhile, but that was the first time it had been articulated to me in this particular manner. The answer is clear as day. Hell no. Need to get back into media. Time to get off the hamster wheel. Move on. Things have gotten stale . . . and I long to "stay hungry, stay foolish."

2. Explore Every Avenue Possible To Get Myself Home
I tried. Hong Kong is not home. Especially over the past week . . . I miss it. Yes, I have family in Hong Kong . . . but the longer I'm away the more I realise that my fantastic group of friends back home comprise a large part of what I consider my "family." Living is not living when you are constantly longing to be somewhere else.

3. Stop Getting Worked Up Over Other Peoples' Shit
I have to get better at evaluating what/who is worth sticking my neck out for. What grinds my gears is when I put myself out there for people and it is either not appreciated or I was misled to begin with about what the endgame was. Then it gets me all upset and stressed . . . and it's just not worth it.

4. Speak Up For Myself More
'Nuff said, really. And kind of similar to #3. This includes not letting myself be put into a position of enabler. If you do shady shit, I will call you on it.

5. Be Bold.
The paradox that is my persona . . . outspoken and outgoing as heck amongst friends . . . but wallflower shy when it comes to my pursuit of romance. In the presence of potential, I need to find a balance between fading into the background and coming off as overeager.

Okay. That's all. Thoughts? What are your resolutions?

With You Is Where I'd Rather Be, But We're Stuck Where We Are

Long Distance - Brandy

In any recent year, this song would have been a poignant portrait of my thoughts and emotions. Admittedly, the first time I heard this track, memories came storming back . . . but not in the heart-wrenching way I thought they would. No . . . this time it was swift . . .

Yup. Okay. I remember feeling that way.
Oh well. Moving on now . . .

Maybe this comes at an interesting time. You see . . . he and I have made amends. And only with the past couple weeks and conversations with him, has it been apparent to me that I've grown out of what we had been. So now, whenever I do feel that little bit of sadness tugging at my heart, I know that it's simply because I miss being in a relationship . . . and that longing will cease to be associated with him.

I haven't felt much like writing lately . . . but in fact it has been quite the month kicked off with an adventure at Hong Kong Disneyland with my girls, highlighted by a birthday visit by one of my best friends, and recently wrapped up with visits from more friendly faces from Vancouver. I always get excited around the end of November . . . because once my birthday's done with, in comes all the Christmas tingles that demand to be felt.

This will be the best Christmas in nearly half a decade. I'm okay. I'm content.

Can I . . . Stay On The Up Side Of A Mood Swing?

For Once In My Life - Red Letter

My one year anniversary in Hong Kong passed earlier this week and I didn't even notice it. But now that I have . . .

I have to say that it doesn't feel like it's been that long. But lately things have been on my mind. Considerations about the future and even people I had banished from my thoughts. It's making me moody and it's really making me wonder if I should try to slay this demon.

A tear escaped from my eyes just now. It's been a very long time since I've let one go for you. Now I'm all pissed at myself . . . confused and angst-y for no reason at all. If only I could figure out why this has seemingly come out of nowhere. Is it because the lustre of the other has worn off?

Things have got to start going my way soon . . . right?

I Fell Right Through The Cracks And I'm Trying To Get Back

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Allow me a second or two to mope. *sigh* Is it done for? Okay, I'm finished moping for now.

Was feeling ridiculously homesick earlier today. Blame it on scanning random photos of the city - Coal Harbour, Stanley Park, downtown. Started thinking about how I'm about to miss yet another Christmas in Vancouver and another snowboard season. The malls get stupidly busy and it feels super claustrophobic, but I love that holiday buzz that manages to seep into my bones. Christmas isn't the same without cold weather.

Have decided with my fellow 604-transplant Delz that come December, we're going to have a Christmas movie marathon. Home Alone, Love Actually, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Elf. The only thing that could make this list better is if somehow, someone could find me either a DVD or digital copy of Babes In Toyland with Keanu Reeves, Pat Morita, and Drew Barrymore - I must've viewed it over a hundred times in my childhood but it's been a lost love since. I think I still remember the words to almost every song. "My jeep's got 4-wheel drive." LOL. If you're in 852 and interested in joining, give me a holler.

Tried to cheer myself up the other day by spending too much money. Picked up the Logitech Cordless Desktop S530 Laser For Mac despite a couple of bad reviews on Apple.com - a completely frivilous purchase. Have had zero problems with it so far and it's nice to type on a real keyboard instead of my laptop one . . . I've missed having a number pad. And of course, the keyboard was made for matchy-matchy prettiness.

But It Seems I Was Never On Time, And I Want To Get Through To You On Time

Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley & Lauryn Hill

I think I was in shock yesterday.
But now that the news has had time to sink in . . .
I can't stop these damn tears.
Even as I realise . . .
The last thing he would want is for any of us to stop laughing.



Jody, I am so lucky to have had someone like you to look up to [and not just because you're a whole foot taller than I am] . . . I love you long time . . . and I will forever be inspired by you, your spirit, and everything you stood for.